WANT WANT WANT.

Vsccubsshirt

No, I don't want the Cubs' shirts, despite the fact that Theriot and Hoffpaiur are total BILFs.  I'm gonna want the Phillies and Twins gear, which I'm hearing is coming out soonsoonsoon (but not soon enough, dammit!).

I've been reading up on the new Victoria's Secret/MLB clothing, and I swear I'm the only girl I know (with the possible exception of my friend Lisa, and she might only be excited about it when she can find Orioles gear in her local Vicky's) who's seriously stoked about this.  A lot of people I know or whose blogs I read aren't down with this clothing, for various reasons--they're not into the overly girly/sparkly/hearts thing, they're not sure the clothes will fit them nicely, they're not sure the clothes appropriately reflect the spirit of baseball, etc.  And those are all totally valid reasons to not be down with these clothes.

But for a girl like me?  A girl who lives for glitter?  Who goes to the ballpark in 5" red stilettos?  A girl who is sick of having to buy youth Medium shirts (not women's, which are often too big, but YOUTH) so that they are form-fitting and don't hang off her?  A girl who would totally not be embarrassed to wear a shirt that says "love love love Phillies" because, well, she DOES love, love, love her Phillies?  For a girl like me, this is gonna freakin' rock.  Finally!  GIRLY CLOTHING!  Stuff that will make me look cute(r)!  Stuff that might actually make my boobs look good instead of flattening them out (yeah, the youth M shirts fit me, but they're really not built for people with boobs--they're built for, like, 13-year-old boys).

I'm not gonna be embarrassed to wear this stuff.  Sure, some of it has a little bit of an airheady vibe, but you know what?  Just as much as I know who's hot on which teams, I know the stats of the players who matter.  I know I'm gonna kick ass and take names in fantasy baseball this year (um, hopefully...hehe!).  And I know that whether or not I'm wearing a shirt that says "I only kiss Phillies fans" (a great rule to live by, actually) that admittedly looks slightly airheady, I can talk baseball with the best of 'em.  And soon I'm gonna look even cuter while doing so.

In other BILF-related news:

* My parents are in Clearwater right now watching Hamels pitch.  Totally jealous?  You bet your ass I am!

* Looks like the hottest Texas Rangers need a nurse.  Hamilton and Kinsler are injured...poor babies!  I'd gladly take care of them...

* My favorite non-Phillies, non-Twins BILF, Cliff Lee, seems to have gotten a little aggressive against the Diamondbacks yesterdayBehave, gorgeous!



Yeah, so he's pretty much a saint in my (only somewhat biased) eyes...

As much as I love the hot sideburns, gorgeous eyes, pretty lips, and flawless backside of Joe Mauer, I think the reason I REALLY adore him is because he is, from all accounts I have EVER read, an incredibly nice guy.  This article just further proves my point.  Going out of his way to make an old friend/new teammate feel comfortable is really commendable--I mean, it's spring training, there's a little thing called a contract for Mauer to think about, and he's still taking the time to help Hardy 9also kind of a BILF!) adjust to his new team and new area.  He may be the most good-hearted, as well as good-looking, BILF ever!

Baseball ADD!

Too much baseball stuff to read about--and the season hasn't even started yet!--and too little time! 

This guy is getting all healed up and ready to pitch another stellar season (yes, I'm absolutely still a Lee fan even though he's not a Phillie anymore...I was a big Lee fan before he ever became a Phillie, so nothing has changed in that regard)...but this super-attractive BILF seems like he needs a little TLC as he heals his shoulder.  I may be biased, but I think I'd make a really great nurse...or at least rock a really great nurse's costume...

I've really been enjoying this Twins blog I just stumbled on recently...and in other Twins news, their minor league pitcher, Loek van Mil, is REALLY hot.  He's a pitcher (that's hot), and since he's from somewhere foreign--the Netherlands--I assume he's got an accent (that's really hot).  He's also 7'1".  I have no idea what I'd ever do with a 7'1" pitcher if I ran into him (except bite his ankles...I'm only 5'2"), but still.  He's cute.  I hope he makes it onto the Twins' roster at some point in the season.

And this article makes me optimistic about the Phillies' 2010 season.  If Dubee's telling the truth and we're gonna get a MUCH better Hamels this year than we had last year, I may very well be the happiest girl on the planet.  I'd love to see BILFy McBILF return to his 2008 form (Lidge, too, for that matter!).

I cannot freakin' WAIT for this season to start!

A very hairy situation...

Yes, I know they're not there to look good--they're there to play ball.  But when you get used to 'em looking good, and the first pictures coming outta Spring Training make 'em look slightly scary...well, we've just gotta hope that they're focusing so hard on their training that they simply don't have time to look in the mirror and/or acquaint themselves with razors.

Joe Mauer, who was apparently mistaken for Nick Blackburn (also a BILF) due to his beard, doesn't look too scary.  He looks much better clean-shaven, but he at least looks well-groomed.  Plus, I'm hearing that the beard gets shaven off today, which is fabulous news (I want to see the post-razor pictures, please!).

But Jayson Werth?  Totally scary.  Is he trying to channel his inner Sasquatch?  He looks much less like a svelte right fielder and much more like a hick or a caveman.  Let's hope that, like Mauer, Werth has the good sense to shave that thing off his face...

The Mauer picture was originally found here.
The Werth picture was originally found here.  Hat tip to my mom for alerting me to the fact that Werth looks like some sort of scary mountain man...


(download)

Twins news and notes

Justin-morneau-and-standee

Double the Morneau...double the fun!

Adorable photo lovingly swiped from www.justinmorneau.com

Oh, hi!  I've been kinda bad about writing lately, but that's because I've been obsessing over things like Muse and Lost as opposed to Phillies and Twins.  (Oh, and I've been sick.  And had a birthday.  And, you know, holidays.  And work is perpetually crazy.  Etc.)

But anyway, here I am with some Twins news...and some hopefully-it'll-be-Twins-news news.  ;)  First, the confirmed news: Justin Morneau will be running with the Olympic torch in his native Canada on 2/11.  Awesome!  And he's also busy preparing himself for spring training and the 2010 baseball season.  Now that he's all healthy again, I expect to see good things out of this guy in just a few months when the 2010 season finally starts up!

The other really exciting Twins-related stuff going on is that I keep hearing rumors of a 10-year extension between Mauer and the Twins.  Oh, how I hope this is--or becomes--true!  I'd love to see Mauer stay with his hometown team instead of, like, running off to join the Yankees.  (If he did, I'd be really sad.  Oh, and I'd also be moving to the Bronx.)

Speaking of Mauer--I adore this article about him.  And, of course, I adore Mauer.  *swoon*


BILFs behaving badly...

I know, I know--I haven't updated in a while.  I've been going through a wee bit of baseball depression.  Yes, I'm thrilled my Phillies got Doc, but dammit, I miss Cliff Lee.  Lee was a favorite of mine before he came to Philly, and he'll still be a favorite now that he's no longer there, but...it's just not the same, you know?  I adore him, and he was my top priority to meet this year at ALS Night, and now I can't because he won't be there because he plays for freakin' Seattle now.  It's not that I'm not grateful to have Halladay, but...Lee was the BILFiest BILF, you know?  So I'm still kind of sad.

But these next few items I'm gonna post...well, you'll see why I came out of my baseball depression to post 'em.  They're juicy, juicy, juicy.

As much as I love Pat Burrell, I'm no stranger to making fun of him a little bit.  But seriously, Pat?  I know this is just a little whisper-down-the-lane type of rumor, but if this is true...you've really outdone yourself this time.  Check out the second little blurb on this Deadspin article (NSFW!).  Oh, Pat the Bat...how did you manage to get "jealous" and "laughing hysterically" so confused?  I know ladyparts don't generally laugh, but if that scenario happened to me, I'm pretty sure mine would actually start snickering.

And this CDAN blind item is priceless.  Absolutely priceless.  I'm a very open-minded girl, and even I think this ballplayer's habit is a little on the strange side.  (And did the ballplayer really think admitting his little kink would actually impress any of the women within earshot?)  The general consensus seems to think the ballplayer in question is Barry Zito, Brad Penny, or Derek Jeter.  When I first read this, I immediately thought of A-Rod--because I could totally see him doing this...in front of a mirror...by his freakin' centaur painting..., but the description of who the ballplayer has dated doesn't seem to line up with A-Rod.  I can't help but think it's Jeter, but wouldn't Enty have acted more shocked if it were him (since Jeter tries to have a squeaky clean image in the public eye)?  Which makes me think it's perhaps Zito...because, well, Zito's a little wacky, and this is a hell of a wacky thing to announce.  So, dear readers, what are your thoughts on this, um, sticky issue? 

P.S. I think I'll be checking into future issues of GQ just to look at their photo shoots and see if I can figure out which ballplayer it might be...  

 

This had SO better not happen.

Cliffie

I'd love for the Phillies to get Roy Halladay, but not at the expense of Cliff Lee.  Uh-uh.  No fucking way.  Especially since I get a diva vibe from Halladay (he seems a little difficult when it comes to being traded), and Lee seems pretty down-to-earth--a good fit for the Phillies' clubhouse. 

I realize that it's just one scenario that one writer has proposed, and I don't think it's all that likely to happen, but it's seriously giving me nightmares already.  I think I'd be heartbroken if Lee were no longer a Phillie (especially if he were to leave the team prior to ALS Night 2010, where I will hopefully be able to meet him this coming season).


What's better than a hot pitcher? A hot pitcher with a hot accent.

Aussie

Found out tonight that my favorite hot-tempered Aussie pitcher will be back to pitch another year for the Rays.  (There's gotta be a "Crikey!" joke in there somewhere, but I'm too damn tired to really make it work.) 

I'm glad to see that Balfour will be back with the Rays again.  I actually prefer the Rays to all the other AL East teams.  They're not the Sox or the Yankees, which I feel is a point in their favor, they're not the perpetually losing-record Orioles--apologies to my friends who are Orioles fans--and they're not Toronto, which has always been kind of a blah team to me (with the exception of their second baseman, Aaron something-or-other, who happens to be hot) except in 1993, when I hated their fucking guts.  So I'm a Rays fan by default when it comes to the AL East, and the fact that they've got three BILFs (Balfour, Burrell, and Longoria) on the team is yet another point in their favor. 


Way to lead me on with that subject line, Phillies... ;)

Pack

I got all excited when I saw this e-mail in my inbox.  I was all like, "Phillies Six-Packs!  Sweet, does that mean I can buy my very own shirtless, BILFalicious Phillie?  Or at least buy pictures of shirtless, BILFalicious Phillies?"

Nope.  They were just trying to sell me tickets.  Bastards.

At the very least, with that kind of e-mail subject line, at the top of the e-mail they could have given us a shirtless picture of Lee instead of the fully-clothed one they chose to display instead.  That might help them sell more tickets (especially to women like me).  Just sayin'.  ;)