No matter what anyone else says, I'm convinced Joe Mauer can do no wrong...

Poor Joe Mauer!  Apparently people think he was "tipping pitches" on Tuesday night.  Never mind that if he was doing anything, he was "stealing signs," not "tipping pitches."  And if he was stealing signs, then that makes him even hotter, because that means he's smart and observant.  I'm not sure that he was even doing that, though.  And cheating?  No, no, no...Mauer seems like way too much of a good guy to cheat.

Check out video of the incident here.  (A note on the video: Disappointingly, whoever took this video just got the back of Mauer's head in it, not his ass.  Bastards.)  And read about what the Twins are saying about it here.

On a related note, congrats to the Twins for staying alive another day!  Now they've gotta take on KC and sweep the shit outta them! 

PHUCKIN' RIGHT...

Ttmwsdyu

National League East Phucking Champions, baby...for the third year in a row!  Hot, hot, HOT!

Now what the Phillies have gotta do is make sure they can have home field advantage.  That could be tricky, 'cause the numbers are pretty tight.  But for my own selfish reasons, I need 'em to have home field advantage for the division series.  This is because my mom is very kindly giving me her ticket for the Citizens Bank Park game #1 of that series.  If they have home field advantage, that game falls on 10/7, and Cliff Lee will be pitching.  If they don't, that game falls on 10/10, and Cliff lee will not be pitching.  My schedule allows me to go to the 10/7 one, not the 10/10 one.  And dammit, I really want to see Cliff "the new King BILF" Lee pitch a fantastic game for us...IN PERSON.


Mor-no, no, nooooooo...

Morneau

Unbelievable.  Morneau's done for the season.  Freakin' stress fracture.  This sucks.

I was looking forward to watching the Twins try to catch up to and then surpass the Tigers this month.  I have a feeling that's not gonna happen now.  And it's gonna wreak havoc on one of my teams of BILFs, too.

Sigh.  Mauer, the pressure's all on you now to help the Twins win...


On wins and Stepford husbands...

So the Phillies have been winning lately.  Phinally.  These wins haven't necessarily been pretty, but hey, they're wins...and wins are good.  I'm glad that Charlie has finally come to his senses and has decided to mix up the closers, not using Lidge each time.  Hopefully he didn't wait too long to do this--we lost some ground while Lidge was busy screwing up games.  Hopefully Charlie will keep allowing Madson to pick up some closing duties--Myers, too, when he's fully ready.

I'm kind of astounded that everybody's all excited that tonight we have the opportunity to sweep the Nationals.  Like, how did the W-P-Champions get so bad that sweeping the Nationals is a significant and important achievement?  Theoretically we should be good enough that sweeping a team as sub-par as the Nationals should be easy and routine and, therefore, nothing to get too excited over.  Not so much lately, though.

Also, gorgeous Cole Hamels has started really freaking people out with these advertisements.  On the one hand, I do think he looks gorgeous in the pictures.  On the other hand...I fear he's turning into a Stepford Husband.  The weird expression on his face in the top picture where he's hugging the baby bump...the lounging on the bed with a smiling Heidi and two totally random kids in the second picture...  Cole, what's going on?  If you're going to lay around on beds with random people, consider choosing me next time...

Dear Phillies:

Perplexed_cliff

Your number one fan (that'd be me) is going to move to Minnesota if you don't get your asses in gear.

And I mean "asses in gear" only in the sense of how you're performing; many of you have very nice asses that are otherwise in gear, and by that I mean I enjoy watching them...

BUT ONLY WHEN THEY'RE ATTACHED TO PLAYERS WHO WIN GAMES.

In case you haven't noticed, you're not winning many games lately.  To a large degree, I blame the pitching.  Pedro did a great job in his last start, and Hamels seems to have gotten his act together, but Mr. BILFalicious Lee has apparently decided that maybe the team needs a new Adam Eaton and that he should do the honors.  (OK, it's not that drastic...yet.  But it could be.  If he wasn't so hot, I might actually be hating him after Friday night's disaster.)  Don't even get me started talking about Brad Lidge.  Also don't get me started talking about a few of the injuries that this team has been afflicted with lately (any Mets fans who are reading this are probably laughing hysterically at that last line.  SHUT UP, METS FANS).  I wish Happ could have pitched today's game--but really, the problem wasn't with the starting pitching.  Moyer did a decent job, and then Park went and screwed it all up.

And as for the Phillies who don't pitch, do we need Ryan Howard to re-teach you all how to hit home runs?  (Except for you, Rauuuuul; we can't complain about your efforts on the field today.)

I'm hoping Happ gets better soon, that Utley's foot gets better, that the bats wake up again, and that our pitching quits sucking (Brett Myers for closer, pretty pretty please?).  I know that's a tall order, but that's what needs to happen.  It's September now; you guys are usually good in September.  Let's not be choke artists like our division rivals have been the past couple years, OK?  That would be really, really embarrassing.

Regardless, if you guys don't quit sucking, I swear I'm gonna move to Minnesota and root for the most attractive team in the American League.  Yeah, the Twins might be 7 games out of first place in the AL Central, but they're just as hot as you guys (especially Mauer and Morneau!), and they've actually won a few games lately.  And if you guys continue to play the way you've played all weekend long, the Twins may end up having a better record than you guys do, and that's kind of a scary thought...

But it's a potentially accurate one.

So shape up, fly right (not fly out), and pleeeeeeease...

Quit sucking. 

And don't let the "Lights Out" one anywhere near the mound.  At least not 'til November.


Lots of love,
That BILF Girl

Just one more reason Cole Hamels is awesome...

Hamels

You may be surprised that I, the Future Mrs. Cole Hamels, would post a nice picture of Cole with the Current Mrs. Cole Hamels.  I actually like Heidi; from the interviews I've seen her do on TV, she seems like a cool, smart chick.  She's the kind of girl I'd probably want to hang out with, but she'd probably not like me a whole lot because I ramble on too much about how her husband looks like a sexy panther when he pitches.

Anyway, one really great thing that Cole and Heidi do is they've created The Hamels Foundation, a charitable organization that enhances educational opportunities to children in low-income areas of Philadelphia.  Now their efforts are being recognized--Cole is up for the 2009 Roberto Clemente Award!

Click here to vote for Cole Hamels to win the 2009 Roberto Clemente award!  (I've gotta admit, I'll be voting for Hamels most of the time, but I'm going to have to slip another favorite BILF, Joe Mauer, a couple of votes too!)


He's baaa-aaaack!

Hot_cole

...Hot Cole Hamels, that is.  Not that he ever wasn't hot, but for a while his pitching wasn't all that hot.  Tonight, though?  Allowing just 2 hits?  Striking out 8 batters?  Stealing a base?  TOTALLY EFFIN' HOT.  He was amazing tonight.  (More details here.)

I hope this outing makes His Hotness regain some of his 2008 confidence.  This is the Cole Hamels we need to see if the Phillies make it to the playoffs this year.  We need this confident, controlled, and totally BILFalicious Phillie to pitch us into another World Series championship.  If Hamels can stay this hot and Lee can do as well as he's been doing for the Phillies (except for that last start of his), we will have the hottest and most talented set of ace pitchers in the league.  I'm trying not to jinx it, but I'm already looking forward to October...


Dear Brad Lidge:

Lidge

You are seriously BILFalicious in person (even though you don't always look all that hot on TV), and you are one of the nicest ballplayers I've ever met.

That's why it pains me to say this:

Brad Lidge, you are starting to suck.

And by "starting to," I mean "you have been sucking for a while, considering that last night was your ninth blown save."

That's right.  Ninth.

If you get into double digits with your blown saves, you're going to make me cry.  And you don't want to make me cry, do you, dear BILF?  Crying is unattractive, and it's a waste of perfectly good mascara.

So please, Brad, do us all a favor.  Start saving games, not blowing them.  We Phillies fans need you to be all lights-out and stuff again.

Either that, or we need the equally hot Ryan Madson to start closing again (please, Charlie?  Pleeeeeease?).

Please start kicking some ass again, y'hear? 

Love,
That BILF Girl

UnbeLEEvably awesome.

Here's an interesting article that compares Cliff Lee to Steve Carlton.  I don't remember Carlton pitching (I'm too young!), but certainly I know who he is, and know of his talent, and know that he's a respected figure in Phillies history.  He's good enough to be in the Hall of Fame.  He's good enough to have his number retired. 

I hope Lee keeps pitching this way and having this amazing attitude and focus.  Perhaps it's too soon to say this, but I hope that 34 will eventually be on the wall of Citizens Bank Park, and I hope that someday I can see him inducted into the Hall of Fame.  If he keeps going like he is now, he'll absolutely deserve all those accolades and then some.

Oh, yeah--the video within the article I linked to is fun to watch, too.  And not just because he's smokin' hot.  ;)

Werth his weight in gold...

 

BILFy right-fielder Jayson Werth was named this week's NL Player of the Week.  And rightfully so--look at these numbers!  Hot, hot, hot!

And in other news, Cliff Lee got the Phillies another win, closing out the series with the Mets at Citi Field.  Final score: 6-2.  Not that this win should be any surprise, since Lee is freakin' amazing.  His ERA with the Phillies is 0.68.  I might actually start bowing down and thanking the baseball gods every day from here on out for having let Cleveland think crazy thoughts like, "Yeah, trading Lee is a great idea!"